i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
