Your face is a jimmy john
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
