I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
This house was built for laser tag.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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