You can't motorboat a personality
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize