Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
