the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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