Little spoons don't ask big questions
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
