all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
