Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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