so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
