I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
