I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
