i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
