New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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