just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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