you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need a burrito and a hug.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
