So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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