You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
