just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
