We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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