Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
