I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
