i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
