apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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