Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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