he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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