you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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