Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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