she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
