theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize