my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
