youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
