she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
