okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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