i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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