So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
