no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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