They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
