ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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