Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
