susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
