I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize