Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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