You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
