She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
