So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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