Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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