is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
