I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize