I feel great
I just peed on a car
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
