You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
