That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize