I only kidnapped one of them. chill
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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