Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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