he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
false alarm, still single
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
