They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
