Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
