hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
