I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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