operation harelip BJ is a go
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
