...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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